This is the 60th post in this blog. Instead of doing another report I want to use this milestone to write down some thoughts that came up during travel.

I feel that in current mainstream culture, travel is often times seen as one of the highest forms of self actualization. The luring promise of the hero’s journey is insight, transformation, personal growth, but in reality you could just as well return empty-handed.

Manila as seen during final approach to NAIA(Ninoy Aquino International Airport)

And I get it: It’s a luxury to experience a place half a world away. WEIRD people are super privileged by their wealth and strong passports to go to just about anywhere they desire. During my travel, I often get comments by locals and fellow travelers alike when I mention that I am long-term traveling. “Sana All” is a Filipino expression. Meaning something similar to “I wish everyone had that”. But even for folks coming from rich countries, vacation days are scarce and obligations to family and careers make traveling hard.

So is travel just a normalized hedonistic form? Used to rationalize unscrutinized pleasure over a number of days, weeks or – in my case – months?

The first days in a new country can certainly feel similar to a drug. You are intoxicated by all the newness. It pushes us to the front seat of our perception. It shuts off the dark and bothered part of your brain, even if it’s just for a moment. Of course, soon we’ll get used to all this, and we settle back into familiar patterns. Conventional wisdom is that you cannot outrun your yourself or your problems, and that certainly is true. As overstimulated as you might be on those first days: The first night in a new city, a new hotel, a new bed you are likely to have some trouble sleeping through the night. The second night you got used to the strange sounds, architecture, and lighting, and you are finally able to recover. Travel seen from this perspective is a fleeting pleasure.

Spaghetti wrapped in wrappers wrapped in other wrappers

You will release tons of greenhouse gases while flying, riding a bus or traveling on a ferry. You will also produce a lot of single use plastics like coffee cups, plastic bags, plastic cutlery or wrapped plastic snacks. Especially here in Southeast Asia the amount of trash I produce on any given day is staggering. And I try to make a conscious effort to employ my reusable bags and sporks and whatnot as much as possible. But I know that if I want to travel our planet will pay a price. A price for the sake of a heightened experience of a different place on this earth. The environmental impact is discussed so often. I think the selfishness of travel goes far beyond this.

It’s also a selfish act in terms of solidarity, relations, the local, and your society that you left hind. And in the end also against yourself. You can only offset your impact so much: by giving to local charities in places that you visit, offering a helping hand and being polite to the people that host you. But a traveler is rarely an actual help. Weary from the road and exhausted from the unfamiliar country and culture. In more ways than he can think, he is making it difficult for the local people. Following the boyscout rule or ethical travel advice is probably not going to change that.

I am unsure of what I will get out of my trip. But I am realistic and conscious about the negative side effects.

I have dedicated this long term travel trip (and this whole year really) to one person: myself. Sometimes to the extent of being unwilling to compromise. In the end, traveling is a selfish act.